One of the most common questions that comes up during divorce mediation is whether it's okay to start dating while the divorce is still pending. In California, the legal answer is fairly straightforward—but the emotional and strategic consequences are often far more complex.

California is a no-fault divorce state, meaning that you don't need to prove infidelity or misconduct to get divorced. Dating while separated is not illegal, and the courts won't penalize someone simply for moving on romantically. That said, dating during the divorce process can still introduce serious complications—financially, legally, and emotionally. At SoCal Mediation Center, we help clients understand these risks and navigate them with clarity.

Dating Can Trigger Dissipation Claims

While dating in and of itself isn't legally prohibited, spending money on a new partner can raise issues—particularly around the dissipation of marital assets. In California, both spouses have fiduciary duties to one another until the marital property is divided. That includes a duty to preserve and fairly allocate assets. If one spouse begins using community funds to buy gifts, pay for trips, or support a new romantic partner, the other spouse can claim that those funds were improperly spent.

This is known as "dissipation." The court may order reimbursement or adjust the final distribution of assets to account for one spouse's misuse of community property. Even if the couple is living apart, large or unusual expenditures can draw scrutiny. Charges on joint credit cards, unexplained withdrawals, or sudden increases in debt can all become evidence in a financial dispute.

Dating Can Complicate Custody and Support

A new romantic relationship can also influence how the court views issues like spousal support and child custody. In California, judges consider the best interests of the child when making custody determinations. If a new partner is introduced into the child's life too quickly or is perceived as a negative influence, it can impact the outcome.

Similarly, spousal support may be reduced or eliminated if the supported spouse begins cohabiting with a new partner who contributes to household expenses. Even if there is no formal financial arrangement, the perception of financial support can lead to claims that the need for spousal support has diminished.

Involving a New Partner Could Backfire

Another risk of dating during divorce is that the new partner may become involved in the case. Even if unintentionally, this person could be pulled into depositions, court testimony, or legal discovery. Communications may be subpoenaed. Personal financial details might become part of the court record.

Bringing a third party into the mix can also inflame tensions between the divorcing spouses, making mediation or settlement much more difficult. Even when a divorce begins amicably, emotions can shift quickly when one spouse feels replaced or disrespected.

Timing and Perception Matter

One of the biggest issues with dating during divorce is perception. Even if there has been a clear separation and both parties agree that the marriage is over, beginning a new relationship before the paperwork is finalized can be seen as provocative or insensitive. It can fuel unnecessary conflict and lead to prolonged litigation—especially if there are unresolved financial or custody disputes.

The safest approach is to wait until the divorce is finalized or until a formal agreement has been reached on the division of property and parenting arrangements. Waiting reduces the risk of financial claims, custody disputes, and unnecessary involvement of third parties.

Mediation Helps Avoid Escalation

At SoCal Mediation Center, we encourage clients to take a thoughtful, strategic approach when navigating separation. Mediation allows both parties to discuss sensitive topics—like dating, spending, and introducing new partners—in a private, structured environment. A neutral divorce mediator can help identify potential flashpoints before they escalate into court battles.

Unlike litigation, which often increases hostility, mediation focuses on problem-solving and future planning. If you're considering dating, a mediation session can provide the space to clarify boundaries, discuss expectations, and avoid misunderstandings.

When in Doubt, Wait

While it's natural to seek companionship during a difficult life transition, patience often pays off in the divorce context. Taking time to focus on financial stability, parenting, and healing can lead to better outcomes both legally and emotionally. Dating too soon can derail what could have been a straightforward resolution.

Once the divorce is final—or once the major terms are agreed upon—dating becomes far less risky from a legal and financial perspective. Until then, maintaining discretion and avoiding significant expenditures on a new partner is the best course of action.

Ready to Move Forward the Right Way?

If you're in the middle of a separation and looking for guidance, SoCal Mediation Center can help. Our experienced divorce mediators in Los Angeles provide a confidential, cost-effective way to resolve disputes and avoid unnecessary litigation. Whether you're concerned about dating, financial fairness, or custody, divorce mediation offers a calmer path forward.

Contact us today to schedule a consultation and learn how we can help you navigate divorce with dignity, clarity, and confidence.